Strangfeld, Party of 3.

So I guess this is where my journey ends. My journey of pregnancy that is.
5 days ago when I wrote my last blog, I was 37 weeks pregnant, today I'm 3 day post partum.
It's truly crazy how fast life changes. I've anticipated this moment for the last 9 months.  And just like that,  the "moment " was over and  I became a mom! Was the moment everything I thought it would be? It was more. More in every way possible.  More intense , more frustrating,  more emotional,  more exhausting.  It was just more.
This last Tuesday, (37 weeks+3) I had my routine checkup with my doctor. And we decided to strip my membranes . I waited all day for the moment things would change.  And nothing was happening.  So I carried on, but by 8pm, my contractions had taken a turn and i this was something different.  We packed up the car, being 100% sure we weren't coming home without a baby this time.
The pain was intense , the car ride was long, and time stood still. We arrived and my contractions were off the chart. There was no doubt in my mind this was labor.
After doing another cervical exam, I was still only 3cm dialted. I was laboring and not progressing . So we turned around and went home. Talk about an exhausting drive.
I couldn't sleep that night , even though we arrived home around 3-3:30am and i was exhausted. Mentally and physically.Contractions were 2 minutes apart. And all I could think about was how I was for sure this was labor, and if this wasn't it, then what other sign could I look for?.
I probably slept for an hour total that night. Just before 6am, I was up and running myself a hot bath, trying to calm everything down. Baths became my best friend through pregnancy . And they really helped all my preterm contractions.  So when this bath didn't help, I knew something was different. BUT I did not want to drive an hour after being sent home, just to be sent home again.  So I suffered through it. Finally by 8am I texted my doctor and said "Something has got to give. The pain is unbearable.  What is it that I'm looking for to be considered 'in labor' ".  He explained how my body is in labor, just the early stages. But at this point,  my body was to exhausted to go into actual labor. So he encouraged me to take a benadryl to help calm down and get rest before the real thing started.  I tried. And I failed. By time I laid down, I couldn't breathe through the contractions.  Lee was rubbing my back, trying to help me breathe through it all, and I just couldn't.  That's when we decided it was time.
Now, if I had to describe this car ride to the hospital , it would literally be just like the movies.   10 minutes into the drive,  I told Lee he needed to drive faster. My contractions were only getting worse. And I thought I would for sure be having a baby in my jeep. We went 90-95mph , with our hazard lights on, weaving in and out of traffic. Then there's me , holding on and screaming on the top of my lungs for the pain I was in . The closer we got, the further away I felt. My contractions were soon 1-2 minutes apart. Poor Lee was trying to talk me through them and remain as calm as he could.  I can't imagine what was running through his head.
Finally, we arrived at the hospital at 11:54pm. This part was also just like the movies. Lee came speeding in, and came to a dead stop in front of the emergency door. He  helps me out of the car and runs in yelling " We need 3rd floor,  labor and delivery, we're having a baby!" They got me a wheelchair while Lee quickly parked the car.  As I sat in the  lobby,  I tried to hold the pain in. The was a line of people waiting to check in, and the last thing I wanted was to make a scene. But , leave it to me, I did. The contraction came and it came strong.  And here I am, screaming and crying in the middle of the lobby,  doing whatever I can to keep this baby in.
The nurse met us in the lobby and rushed us up to 3rd floor. I stood up out of the wheelchair , she immediately pulled my pants down and checked my cervix. Just about 9cm. YOU PUSH A BABY OUT AT 10cm! How does one go from 3cm, to 9, in less than 8 hours. And at when did I miss that turning point?!
Next thing I know, the nurse is yelling down the hall for every available nurse. And trying to call my doctor who was about 30minutes away at another clinic. Being 8-9cm, I knew an epidural wasn't an option , but I think I was so scared , and the pain was so bad, I begged for one anyway. I never got one. It was just too late. It was go time. Another doctor came in and she broke my water.  Baby Strangfeld was head up, so we had to turn her. I thought that was the end of the world. How was I supposed to actually push a baby out?!. But that was next, we started pushing. I had one nurse holding one leg, and Lee holding the other. I swore. I screamed.  I begged for a c-section.  I guarantee if anyone was getting ready to give birth in a room next to me, they probably thought twice about it.
After about 20minutes of active pushing ,my doctor arrived.  I was so happy to see him. I knew he would get me through this. And then my mom came. I literally had a team of angels pushing me through.  Lee was always reassuring , and encouraging.  My mom was there to keep me pushing when I thought I couldn't.  And our nurse was a saint who never let go of my hand or or leg.
I won't lie, it hurt like hell. I cant sugar coat birth. I didnt have a birth plan. Because things never go the way you plan anyway.(and this was a perfect example ) But I wasn't expecting things to go down like this. But in the moment you do what you need to for that baby. I was already so tired, and it was only getting worse. I cried and cried. And I begged to quit. But we were so close. And on my last set of pushes, (I wasn't aware we were at the end), about an hour in,my doctor yelled for one more good one and our baby was here. Just like that.  Porter Mae Jacquelin was placed on my chest.May 9th, 1:29pm. And nothing can ever replace that moment, or those feelings. And I could never find the right words to describe the day I became a mom.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I will show you that surviving can be beautiful.

"Not compatible with life"

Meeting our Trisomy 18 baby: Part 2