Wife&Mom Life

"Are you excited for this baby?!" You innocently ask. But let me ask you, "Excited for what?" I live in a world where babies die. Yes, you read that right. And it may sound morbid. But it's a sad reality I've been living in. I live in a world where   -The baby is given a fatal diagnosis-S omething is making the baby incompatible with life outside the womb. -Where excited parents go to their gender reveal appointment only to learn that something is not right. -I live in a world where a mother’s body goes into labor before the baby is ready and no way to stop it -I live in a world where full-term pregnancies end because of a cord accident.  I live in a world where babies die for no reason at all. After losing Samuel, I was never really afraid of Trisomy 18 playing a factor in another pregnancy. Instead, I was (And still am) afraid of all the other things that could wrong. (like listed above).And chances are, you probably know someone who

I am a good Mother . At least I like to think so. I'm not perfect by any means, but most days, I am good. It was 1:29pm on special day in May, when I first became a mom. Instincts naturally kicked in and it all felt natural. I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, but despite that crushing encounter, I was still able to perform my duties as a mom. I was happy to be a mom, to a beautiful baby girl. I was Tired, but I was happy. And things came easy. Being a family of three clicked for us. Then at 5:54pm on a September day,17 months after, I became a mom again. This time to a baby boy. But,these days, things don't always seem to click. And these days, I don't feel like a great mother, or even  a good one for that matter. And it's because, I don't know how to be a bereaved Mother. but a bereaved mother is what I am. And there's nothing that comes natural about it. It not natural to stand in the cemetery weeping over your child's gra